There is so much negativity with motherhood, especially if you make the mistake (like I did) of hanging out with mothers who like to complain and take their blessings for granted when your child is young. To combat this negativity, I recorded a video on 5 Things I Admire About My Toddler!
I wanted to let you know that after much careful deliberation by our family, we have decided that it is time to move to a platform that better suits the direction I want my writing to take. This is not a decision that we take lightly – newcrunchymom.com (previously thatnewcrunchymom.wordpress.com) has built a lot of brand equity over the past 9 months and we don’t want to lose that, nor the community we’ve built together with you.
That said, my identity as a mother is just one facet of who I am and what I have to say, so the moniker “new crunchy mom” ends up pigeon-holing me (if only psychologically) into a category too narrow for the scope of things I aspire to. I chose that name to hide my real identity, so even though I’ve become more well-known, it still feels like I’m hiding behind a mask (like Batman, according to my husband).
So instead, I will now be primarily operating as Rebecca Lemke, and have formed a new home-base blog to match! 🙂 I want to thank those who have come with me this far, and I really appreciate you for sticking with me through several changes (and ostensibly through this one as well). Rest assured, newcrunchymom.com is not closing its doors, though I will favor posting on rebeccalemke.com from here on out.
For those with questions about the giveaway coming up, it will be happening on newcrunchymom.com and it will be happening in the next week or two. The reason it has been delayed is because there was another shop interested in contributing it’s wonderful products.
Again, thank you all for your loyalty. It is appreciated more than words can express. All of my social media channels will be the same, except for the names being changed to my real name. <3
Here is our first post on the new site:
Hi there! 🙂
Bubba loves playing with New Crunchy Dad before he goes to work in the mornings!
This particular morning, he decided he was hungry.
Bubba apparently thought I wasn’t watching…
I’d been cheated on! With a nose! 🙁
I’d give Bubba a stern talking too about cheating on the milkies, but from the way he looked when he latched, I don’t think he’ll do it again 😉
New Crunchy Mom
Don’t mind me. My heart has just shattered into a million tiny pieces. You are probably stepping on them…
My baby went on a trip to the store, without me! *sniffles and tears*
What is worse is that he didn’t miss me one bit! Well, until he got hungry anyway.
It was harder on me than Bubba, obviously…
At least the Walmart was only five minutes away.
I think I told New Crunchy Daddy not to wreck about a thousand times.
What did I do while they were gone? Well, I took a shower, alone, and cried.
How did you handle your baby’s first outing without you?
New Crunchy Mom
Guess what? 🙂
Bubba is 4 months old today! <3
He is celebrating with lots of milkies, OBVIOUSLY…;)
We celebrated a little early by going to the zoo this past Wednesday. He made some friends…
An otter (he was very amused by the otter, and the feeling appeared to be mutual), another baby (7 month old who was half his size…#chubster), a few monkeys (there was a baby monkey that he really liked), and pink-pinks (flamingos)!
I wore him in the k’tan most of the time we were there. I saw a few other babywearing moms (and dads), but I was too shy to ask them about their carriers.
At one point, Bubba got pretty hungry. I could tell before he ever started showing hunger cues. So I told Mr. Crunchy Dad that we needed to sit so he could eat.
Mr. Crunchy Dad is shy. I am not.
By the time Mr. Crunchy Dad looked up from trying to find something to use as a cover, Bubba had already drained one boob. He hadn’t even noticed that Bubba had been eating! 😉 I’m getting pretty good at being discreet, I think!
Mr. Crunchy Dad was even more impressed when I took out walking with Bubba still latched because he feel asleep like that, and I knew he need a nap. I didn’t want to unlatch him since I knew he’d wake up. Heehee 🙂
At four months, Bubba likes:
- ceiling fans
- his toy light up/musical giraffe
- helping me stuff diapers
- learning to burp with Mr. Crunchy Dad
- cuddling with me
- reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear
- having his hair (what little there is) combed
- taking baths with me
- playing with his hands and feet
- holding hands
- his car seat mirror
- chewing on everything
- getting the mail
Bubba doesn’t like:
- baths in his baby tub
- me cooking dinner without him
- his pre-fold diapers (I don’t know why)
- Mr. Crunchy Dad getting too close to his food
- waking up to me not cuddling his fluffy booty
- mommy trying to get rid of his boogers
- hospitals (he freaks out every time we go near one)
We are going to celebrate tonight with Mr. Crunchy Dad when he gets off work by going on a family walk and cuddling with Bubba. <3
What do you do to celebrate when your baby turns another month old? 🙂
New Crunchy Mom
Hi there! 🙂
Whew! It’s been crazy lately. I have a few things I have planned to write about (namely fluff mail!!) but I haven’t had the chance to type it all out yet.
But today, I wanted to tell you how I deal with our non-crunchy family and friends.
I am sure we all have that one person in our family that has some objections about our crunchy ways, right? I have several…
Family member : “Oh, you didn’t buy this shampoo for cradle cap?”
New Crunchy Mom : “Nope, we put coconut oil on it and it cleared it right up!”
Family member : “Hmmm…Did his pediatrician say that was okay? Seems dangerous to me.”
New Crunchy Mom : “Yes she did, and actually, the ingredients in that shampoo are more dangerous…”
Anything we do that isn’t the way it “used to be done” is called into question…
Family member : “When are you going to give him solids?? By eight weeks I gave you mashed potatoes.”
New Crunchy Mom : “It isn’t recommended to give babies solids until six months, sometimes four. Plus, we are planning on doing baby-led solids.”
Family member : “Well, that’s the way we did it and you turned out just fine! Besides, baby-led solids sounds dangerous!”
Sometimes you are accused of being “gross” or “unsanitary”…
Family member : “What is up with this diaper?”
New Crunchy Mom : “It’s a cloth diaper! Isn’t it cute?”
Family member : “Ewww! You put poop in your washer? That’s disgusting!”
New Crunchy Mom : *Describes Bubba’s poop in detail* 😉
Oh, and you get accused of spoiling. ALL. THE. TIME.
Family member : “Why do you let him nurse so much? You are going to spoil him!
New Crunchy Mom : “We nurse on-demand. Do you only eat three meals a day with no snacks or drinks in between?”
And more spoiling…
Family member : “You always have him in that contraption (K’tan carrier), he’ll never learn to walk.”
New Crunchy Mom : “Baby carriers do not hinder child’s ability to learn to walk. Unless you did not follow the instructions, I suppose.”
Family member : “He doesn’t even like it!”
New Crunchy Mom : “Really? Because ever time I put him in it, he plays happily or falls asleep.”
Family member : “Well, you’re going to spoil him!”
It seems like no matter what we do, there is always something wrong with it? Every parent gets this, but in the crunchy world, there is a special kind of skepticism that we receive, unique to our lifestyle.
Some reasons we have trouble with our family and friends:
- Genuine concern/curiosity
Sometimes, our loved ones ask questions due to the fact that they really don’t know if what we are doing is safe. Sometimes they are right. I know a few people in the crunchy world who use essential oils unsafely, just to name one scenario. But, most of the crunchy moms I know do their research!
- What can you do?
Tell them “Thank you for your concern! I’ve done my research and decided this is what’s best for my family. If you’d like to see the research on this subject, I can send you some links and/or books for you to read. If you have some research of your own, I’d be happy to read it.”
- Outdated Information
It seems like every day some new recommendation comes out in relation to what is and isn’t safe for babies and children. It’s no wonder our family and friends are confused by how much things have changed, even without the addition of crunchy things.
- What can you do?
Explain why and how things have changed! Why the new recommendations are what they are and how they can help by following them with your little one. 🙂 You can also reassure them that they were not stupid, dumb, irresponsible or anything else they may be feeling by not knowing the changes or not having done the current recommendations with their children. They did what they thought was best based on the information they had, just like we do!
- Different Parenting Styles
This is a tough one! I believe that different parenting styles can be perfect for different kids. It’s not a one size fits all type of thing. My parents had a style completely different from my own, mine is more in line with gentle/attachment parenting (common in the crunchy world). And guess what! They aren’t exactly thrilled that I’ve chosen a different style than them.
- What can you do?
Explain that each child is different, and while one parenting style will work great with one kid, it might not for another who has a different personality. This is a pretty good way to diffuse this situation, in my experience. Remember, the only person who gets to parent your child is you!
- Feeling of Exclusion
They feel left out because they don’t have the same lifestyle and don’t know how to relate. For example: They feel left out because they can’t change your baby’s diaper because they don’t know how cloth works.
- What can you do?
Teach them! 🙂 I have taught one of my family members how cloth works and now they love it and think it’s really cool! I talk to our family and friends a lot about the products we use and why. I’ve also demonstrated to our families how our baby carriers work, which has lessened the intimidation they previously felt with them.
- Mom Guilt
This is the big one! We all have mom guilt, and it sucks. But our own mother’s have had many more years to stew on their mom guilt. So when your mother or another woman in your family or friends group is defensive with you when talking about parenting, it probably stems from this.
We as moms think we are always being judged (and let’s face it, sometimes we are). Maybe it’s because we know that at some point, we’ve judged another mom. It’s hard! We love all the babies, not just our own, and sometimes we act on that love in a way that may not be appropriate.
- What can you do?
Talk about mom guilt and judging with the woman in question, it may help them become less defensive in the future, especially if they know you aren’t judging them (or trying not to, at least) and they are the ones being hard on themselves because of their mom guilt.
Basically, in any scenario I try to teach, educate and demonstrate. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes you can make a crunchy lady out of them if you choose to explain things 😉
How do you deal with crunchy parenting conflicts?
New Crunchy Mom <3
Sorry there were no posts for a few days, my husband was off work and we are very committed to uninterrupted family time with Bubba on those days. <3
While my husband was off work, he learned all the things I’ve been teaching Bubba firsthand.
Let me set the scene for you…
I was busy in the kitchen washing dishes while my wonderful husband was entertaining Bubba. My husband had Bubba sitting facing him on his lap. Bubba is giggling and smiling and having a good time and so is my husband. Then, all of a sudden I hear this loud *thump*.
I ran to where they were sitting to see what was the matter and saw my husband grabbing his face and Bubba cracking up.
I breathed a sigh of relief that Bubba wasn’t hurt and asked my husband, “Are you okay? What happened?”
Turns out, my husband got a little too close to Bubba and his flailing hands. I’m surprised he didn’t get a black eye! 😉
I explained to my husband that I’d been teaching Bubba that if he put his hands up, I’d kiss them. It was a fun game for us and it kept him happy! But…
If you ignore his attempts to get hand kisses, he will get increasingly frustrated and probably bonk you in the face, as my husband learned. Silly Bubba 🙂
We hope you had a good weekend, we have more stories to come from ours! Stay tuned…
New Crunchy Mom
Your toddler had a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store. After you’ve brought him to the safety of the car to help him calm down, you realize you’ve missed his afternoon snack. The sight of food had sent him into a tailspin, but he did not have the words to tell you.
Every morning is a good morning when there is a babywearing giveaway going on! 😀
*Disclaimer : This is not my giveaway, I just wanted to share 🙂 *
The sling that is being given away is a size 6 and priced at $165. Go check out Slingdad Dom on Facebook here and follow the instructions to enter to win it! <3 Slingdad Dom is an awesome babywearing daddy, if you’d like to follow his blog, here is the link.
Good luck to everyone!