My latest for Anne Cohen on ending friendships: How To End Friendships You Know Are Holding You Back
My latest for Anne Cohen: Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend
This video is part of a collaboration series with Raymond the Relationship Blogger. We are hoping to do a video every week answering each other’s questions on sex to promote a healthy understanding of sex and sexuality and to show the differences in how we think about these topics.
He also insists that there is a right way to put on the toilet paper roll, and I disagree, but you know what? It doesn’t matter if you can’t even put the toilet paper roll on the roller because the toddler is like a cat and will unroll it all and throw it in the toilet, so ha! We will settle this one when our son acts more like a human than a cat.
We all have unrealistic expectations set on us by various forms of media. They don’t just affect the way we see ourselves or our bodies, they also affect our relationships.
I have a friend in the UK who is a recovered Porn addict. I find his story to be extremely interesting because he grew up religious and no longer considers himself to be, so his motivation for not using porn is not tied to religion. He’s written about it elsewhere, but this past week I asked him for an interview and he was thrilled to have a chance to answer some questions. He’s an open book to most people and you can find a lot of his story on his blog. We’ve worked together before when I’ve written for him on recovering from Purity culture, and discussed how we’ve lived a bit on opposite poles. I wanted to learn more about Porn addiction, so he’s answered 15 questions of mine.
Here is the question: Being a young, hot blooded woman that you are, did being a late teenager and being in purity circles, and sex before marriage – did you have crazy perverted thoughts swimming inside of your head? Or was it like a switch, that you turned off?
Buy my brand new book here!
“A chewed up piece of gum.”
These cringe-worthy phrases from Christian purity culture ingrained themselves in the minds of the impressionable youth of my generation. Fearing the destruction of their children’s bodies and souls as the world around them became caught up in pushing a progressive sexual agenda, our parents and thought leaders rose up and sought to fight back against the lewdness and promiscuity surrounding us.
Unfortunately, their approach was entangled with fear and pain, going so far as to criminalize all forms of affection. This bore fruit of unprecedented physical, mental, and spiritual consequences as our worth and identity were found in what we did and didn’t do sexually, not in Christ and His sacrifice for us. The heavy-handed and legalistic emphasis on sexual-purity-at-all-costs left a legacy of emotional and spiritual devastation in its wake that follows many even into adulthood.
This book takes a vulnerable look at these issues through the eyes of someone who experienced it firsthand. It seeks to identify what purity culture got wrong and bring peace to the hearts of those whom it has wounded so deeply, by exposing the truth: It is Christ who makes us pure.
Here is my latest article for Anne Cohen on trusting your gut when it comes to love! 🙂
3 Reasons You Should Go With Your Gut When It Comes To Love