I don’t normally talk about depression (though I do talk about anorexia and NICU PTSD), but after a conversation with my husband last night, we decided this post would be helpful to many and worth writing. And so, here we are.
Here are 5 pieces of advice for helping your spouse through a period of depression!
I want to shelter you from the scary things out there, but I know it’s impossible to do and I want you to know about this before you encounter it yourself.
Bubba, I know people who hurt themselves.
They press knives and sharp things into their skin until they bleed.
Their compulsion leads them to mangle their own body and scrape at their own flesh.
Their arms, legs and other pieces of their body bear the burden of physical marks of emotional pain. It’s not always about pain though. Sometimes they do it just to feel anything at all.
These scars stay with them forever.
Some people hide their scars under sweaters, jeans and scarves. They’ll wear a long sleeves in 100 degree weather if it means their secret is safe.
Some people don’t hide their scars at all. Often times getting ridiculed for it.
People who don’t understand call them crazy, nuts or psycho. Accusations get thrown around of these people being “dramatic” or “overly sensitive” or “looking for attention”. And that is only when it is talked about, which is rare.
That’s not okay, Bubba. It’s dangerous to bully someone who needs help.
The fact that they have a problem doesn’t make them any less human. They are hurting in one way or another.
I don’t have all the answers for you on this. Regardless, I want you to know that you shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it, either with someone else or for yourself. It’s scary when someone you know hurts themselves and the way you respond is important.
Show love, be kind, listen.
It’s not your job to save anyone, in fact, you can’t. Only they can choose to recover. But you can be there for them, and that may be all they need.
New Crunchy Mom